I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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