Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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