I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
