Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
