I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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