why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
