They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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