I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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