How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize