rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
