I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
