about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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