Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
