Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
