Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
