ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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