evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
