Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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