So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
