why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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