if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
