What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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