I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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