my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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