you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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