I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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