Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
