I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
