So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
