hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
