hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wear drunk well.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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