I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
