try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
