and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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