No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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