Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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