the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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