How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
