so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
