She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
