'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
