I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I did not marry a roomba.
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