Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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