Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
