He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I fill condoms, not promises.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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