why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
