I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
