there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
