well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
