And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
