gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
