I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
