I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
