just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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