so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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