Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
