I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
