pop tarts are not kleenex
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need to sanitize my soul.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Two words: nipple clamps
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