So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
