This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
