I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
