yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
